I am co-hosting the Love Blog Challenge today. The prompt is “Forgiveness.” I’ve shared the prompt list for the rest of the month below but also feel free to head over to Brita’s Introduction Post for more details and ideas for each prompt. We’d love to have you join us!
Ah forgiveness. The concept can be so simple and yet so complicated at the same time. Last year for the love blog challenge I wrote about how to forgive others and why it’s important. In that post I covered what forgiveness is, why you should forgive others, and how to forgive.
Since I’ve already talked at length about the concept of forgiveness, I thought I’d talk a little bit today about reasons Pearson has had to forgive me over the years. These are all things that I’m working on because I recognize that they’re not good traits even if Pearson is so gracious about them!
Let me preface this by saying I am so thankful to have a forgiving husband! I have certainly not always been the best wife in the world but he loves me anyway.
Table of Contents
Reasons My Husband has had to Forgive me in the Past
When I’m stressed and shut down then eventually snap
I like to think we’ve all been guilty of snapping at our spouse from time to time. But maybe that’s just wishful thinking. When I’m super stressed out, I have a tendency to shut down and keep everything held in until I eventually snap.
When I’m being condescending
Why is this my automatic reaction to everything my husband says or does? Okay maybe not everything he says or does, but I do it a lot. Nobody likes to be talked down to. My husband is a grown and capable man. Even if he does something differently than I would do it, that doesn’t mean hes inferior or even that my way is better.
When I expect him to know what I’m thinking
I believe this is another one that a lot of people struggle with. Mind reading isn’t a thing. Our partners can try to guess what we’re thinking when we behave in certain ways or voice certain things. But it’s not their job to know what we want when we don’t tell them! I’m so bad about communicating my expectations sometimes.
When I think I know what he’s thinking
This one drives Pearson crazy! Not only do I often expect him to be a mind-reader, I sometimes believe that I am one as well. When he’s upset about something, I assume I know what he’s upset about so I don’t even ask what’s wrong. I either try to fix it or give him some condescending response.
So how is that for a little real life and raw honesty and all that jazz? I was quite a bit hesitant about posting this but I think it’s sometimes important to admit your own faults. There is nothing wrong with constantly striving for self improvement, am I right?
What are some reasons your spouse has had to forgive you lately? Does forgiveness come easily in your relationship?
Thanks for reading!
Meet Your Hosts:
Brita Long is the pink and sparkly personality behind the Christian feminist lifestyle blog, Belle Brita. On her blog and social media, you’ll discover more than authentic storytelling–she’s brutally honest about pursuing a fulfilling and joyful life even with Crohn’s Disease and depression.
Laura is a part-time artist hoping to go full time some day. She has a little black bucket list book filled with adventures. She writes with the hope to inspire. She’s known to be quite the workaholic sometimes. She’s an INTJ- A and she believes a cup of hot tea can solve almost anything. She embraces perseverance. She’s spent a lot of time emerged in self-discovery practices over the last several years, and finds she is still learning as she goes. She is here in the blogging world because she believes the buzz about self-care, wellness, and self-love needs to be heard. You can also find her writing over at www.blogfivebiz.com chatting about blogging and business stuff.
Charlene is a 30 year old wife and fur-mama living in Portland, Oregon. She’s a follower of Christ, watcher of SciFi, reader of fantasy, singer of show tunes, and lover of her husband! She uses her blog, Enduring All Things to help couples build a marriage that will endure whatever comes their way.
I think it’s so important for forgiveness to exist in a marriage or any relationship. Communication, especially of feelings can be tough – I struggle there a bit, so does my fiance. This is where we’ve had to learn to be most forgiving. A good relationship will have a lot of forgiveness in it. This is a good honest post and it’s so greatly appreciated – it makes me feel like I’m not the only one! Thank you for sharing!
Yes forgiveness is so important for any relationship to work. We’re all human and we all make mistakes.
Well my shutting down doesn’t always end up in a “snap” but I’m sure it takes me too long to “snap out of it.” And, you’d think after all this time I would get the mind-reading thing right – which is neither of us can do it.
Again, so thoughtful and transparent. You a surely a breath of fresh air in a defensive and shallow world…xoxox
Thank you so much, Nancy. And if I’m being honest, usually when I shut down its because I need time to think and then I come back to the disagreement with a clear mind. But there have been a few times here and there when I don’t come back and talk things out. When I bottle that up too much I snap.
Oh, my hubs is a saint…I have a nasty snap in me and I can be condescending, too. Ugh. As soon as something comes out of my mouth I pretty much regret it instantly! Glad we have forgiving spouses!!
Yes! I always regret it instantly! Often he forgives and forgets long before I do. I’ll be upset with myself for something I said and he’ll ask what’s wrong. Then he’ll claim he doesn’t even remember whatever it was that I did.
More marriage need to based on recognition and grace. Kudos to you.
Thank you!
Such a lovely and thoughtful reflection. We are all in need of some forgiving and forgiveness, too, being humans x
I am awfully guilty of 1. Sometimes 2, but mostly I just snap at things all the time. I have a hard time coping with him forgetting things I genuinely said (a lot of them are texts so I have proof on my side) or misreading instructions and then coming home from the shop with the wrong thing etc and I get SO frustrated. He says I’m very patient with him and his weirdly-functioning brain but I ask what he thinks not having patience would look like…murder?! lol I don’t know, I just feel like I snap far too much for a patient person but then I see the point that I could be so.much.worse.
It’s always a good thing when our partner sees what we’re doing as better than we see it. Did that make sense? haha I think it goes back to people being their own worst critic. But as long as he says you’re patient, you’re doing something right!
Thank you for sharing, this, it is a reminder to appreciate our blessing.
Forgiveness is so key to a marriage, or any relationship! I like that you share these open and honest conversations!
Yes forgiveness is certainly key! And thank you!
You’re so blessed to have such a forgiving spouse! We should all be so lucky. And it’s good to voice your shortcomings. We all have them and no one gets along with their spouse 24/7. Besides, voicing faults makes you relatable. Always a good thing.
Thanks so much. I think confessing areas where we struggle is the first step in becoming better!
Real stuff there…very well said. Thanks for sharing, Charlene.
I love your honesty! I think for Dan and me, the biggest thing he had to forgive, somewhat continually for awhile, was my refusal to get help for my mental health and the way I sometimes acted from untreated depression and anxiety. He was very loving and patient with me, and he wasn’t annoyed or condescending when I finally told him that I needed help finding in-network care. (It’s amazing that people with mental health issues are expected to navigate complicated websites to find mental healthcare).
Thank you! And I’m so glad Dan has been so patient with you. And UGH don’t get me started on Mental Health and insurance.
This is such a sweet honest post! Thanks for being open.
Emily
http://www.theorangeslate.com