Before you read any farther, let me clear something up! I’m not talking about setting boundaries to keep yourself and your family safe from the virus. Those boundaries should be no-brainers and authorities are enforcing them. You don’t need me to tell you how to set those.
No. I’m talking about boundaries you set within your marriage and family while you’re stuck at home together. I’m talking about healthy boundaries that protect your mental health and your relationships with the ones you love.
Maybe things are going smoothly at your house and these boundaries may prevent issues you’ve never even thought about. Or maybe you’re already at each others’ throats after less than a week of social distancing and are in desperate need of an intervention.
Either way, I promise setting some respectful boundaries will make a world of difference.
Table of Contents
Boundaries you should set at home during the Coronavirus Pandemic
Schedule Boundaries:
I think the biggest thing we need to set boundaries around right now is our schedules. I know everybody and their mother has created or shared “homeschool” type schedules on social media. Some of those schedules are a little strict or whatever. So I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t try to follow something like that exactly. That’s up to you.
But what I am saying is to set strict boundaries around a general schedule. Keep specific work hours. While working from home, don’t do things that you wouldn’t do at work during work hours. Set a time (maybe 8 am to 5 pm with a lunch break) and don’t do anything but work during those hours.
Likewise, after your work hours are over, put your work away! A lot of people (myself included) really struggle with this when they work from home. Once the work day is over, the work day is over. Your family needs you to be present in the evenings just like you are when you physically come home from the office.
It might also be smart to set a boundary around getting outside every day. Fresh air and vitamin D are so important. Especially at a time like this. So maybe plan to go on just a 10 minute walk as a family after dinner every night.
As I talked about earlier this week, it’s still important to date your spouse. Hopefully you already had some boundaries set up around a regular date night. Keep those up! Set aside weekly time to intentionally date each other at home and honor that schedule. It should be easier than ever to keep that scheduled date, right?
Likewise, it’s also still important to keep up with self care. During this time of quarantine and social distancing, we’re going to be spending a lot of time with the people we live with. We may just need to set aside some time to ourselves and ask our family to respect that time. Be sure to remind them that you still love them but you just need some alone time to take care of yourself and encourage them to do the same. Then go find a separate room if possible and get your self care routine in!
Location Boundaries:
Unfortunately, Pearson and I are currently quarantined in a one bedroom apartment. Luckily our “family” only consists of two adults and a dog (plus two more dogs on Tuesdays and Thursdays). On top of that, Pearson has taken over my desk. I mean, I get it. He works for a big company who’s expecting him to get his work done. Plus, he makes more money. I can adapt.
But that makes it hard for me to work efficiently without being distracted and uncomfortable. So it’s important to set a boundary around where you do your work while at home. Maybe make the dining table your desk for the time being. Or set up a TV tray in the bedroom away from where your husband is working. Having a designated spot helps you to be more productive and to respect your time boundaries as well.
On the other hand, perhaps it’s smarter to keep your work out of the bedroom. A lot of people have a “no phones in the bedroom” boundary. That’s probably pretty smart too. I am able to close down my TV tray and put it in the corner when I’m done with my work for the day, so working in the bedroom doesn’t bother me.
Communication Boundaries:
If there were ever a more important time to communicate with your spouse, that time is now! Of course, communication is important all the time. But boy being quarantined together for an unknown amount of time can really strain your relationship if you’re not communicating.
I typically recommend for couples to have a couple check-in every week, but I think right now we should go above and beyond that. Set a boundary to check in with each other every day. Pick whatever time of day works best. It doesn’t have to be a full on “check-in,” but just ask each other how you’re feeling about this whole situation, what’s going well and what isn’t, what you need to get done that day, other expectations you have right now, etc.
My friend, Chelsea shared this graphic on Instagram and I think it’s brilliant!
Housekeeping Boundaries:
Ok so you’re both home now. And you’re both home all the time. Maybe your housekeeping boundaries need to be readjusted. Being home all the time means you’re making more of a mess. Being home during the day means you might be able to do more chores than you usually do. And being quarantined might mean you currently have more food in the house than usual and not enough space for it (that’s our problem).
On top of reevaluating you’re rolls in the household, here are some other boundary suggestions. Don’t go to bed with dishes in the sink. Put everything back where it goes when you’re done using it. Throw away trash immediately. Make the bed every day. Set aside a day of the week for laundry. Designate a trash/recycling day (or time of day). Set a shower schedule (can that go in this category?). Find or create a spring cleaning schedule and get it done!
Conclusion:
I truly believe that setting boundaries like these will make this process so much more enjoyable. The trick is to set these boundaries respectfully. Tell your loved ones that you’re doing this out of love. You want everybody to be their best self and these boundaries can help you get there.
What other boundaries could I add to my list? What have you implemented to keep yourself sane during this time of self-isolation?
Thanks for reading!
You’re so right! Setting boundaries during this time of quarantine and working from home will make the situation more conducive to being productive and maintaining the relationships that we have with one another.
Yes! Exactly!
Boundaries are hard to set when we’re not used to them but this exercise will help us get through this
I thank you for these guidelines that I will surely follow. They are a real cure.
Really helpful. I work from home for 7 years now so I mostly know these things but for those who are new to it, this would be a really useful read.
Yes I’ve worked from home for 2 years now but my husband is now home too. So this is still different than normal.
Interesting points here. I enjoyed reading about it from your perspective.
very useful advise! I work from home so it’s not hard for me but imagine how hard it is to suddenly start without being mentally prepared
Yes I’ve worked from home for 2 years now. But my husband is suddenly at home and has taken over my desk…
Setting aside for self-care is even more important now to stay well and healthy with this virus outbreak, in all aspects of body, mind, and spirit. Thanks for sharing tips on how to create these boundaries at home.
Yes! Exactly! In an attempt to keep our bodies healthy, I think we’re risking our mind and spirit a lot. We should work hard to combat that.
This is spot on! I’m finding I have to set boundaries on my social media and news intake for my mental sanity.
Yes! Me too! In fact, I fasted from my phone and computer all day yesterday and it was amazing!
It is good to come up with a routine! Right now my daughter is in mandatory quarantine in her room, because two kids in her classes tested positive. It is so difficult! We have been staying home but getting fresh air and keeping in touch with everyone online.
Oh no! I’m so sorry she has to be quarantined in her room!
These are great tips! It is important to keep boundaries when stuck at home like this!!
We have been self isolated for the past week. It’s so incredibly important and I wish others would do the same!
Yes it is very important and it drives me crazy that I still see people out and about! Ugh
I’m a work from home introverted girl so this is my normal routine! Thank goodness my family all is used to being at home with each other.
I am also a work from home introverted girl. The difference is my husband is now also working from. And he took over my desk. And he’s an extrovert. lol
On a positive note, this is one of the best times to be at home to be “working from home”, or at least start a business.
Very true!
These are some great tips, being in close quarters really can change things.
COVID-19 has affected almost whole world, and numerous countries has imposed lowdown and we are working from home. your post is real time action, it is very informative and supportive for readers.
Thank you! That’s why I wrote it. Lot’s of people have been forced to stay home together 24/7
I’ve totally agree with everything you’ve cited here. Everybody should have these kind of guidelines as we fight this plague spreading in the entire world.
I love this, thanks for these tips!
Wonderful tips on how to practice safe boundaries during this crazy time. Stay safe!
This is so important. My husband and I are both working full-time from home and the kids are here, too. Making and maintaining a schedule is a must!
Having everybody home all the time changes everything.
These are great tips. They didn’t even cross my mind until now.
These are great tips. They didn’t even cross my mind till now.
Hey Charlene,
Thanks for sharing these awesome tips.
These are truly trying and difficult times the likes of which haven’t been seen since world war 2! And your post contributes to the conversation that we all need to have around the coronavirus pandemic.
Best,
Pedro
Thank you so much!
I agree with self-care. We must not forget ourselves especially in times like this. I hope this pandemic will pass soon.
That is so true!
This blog is very useful in this situation. Thank you for the advise.
I agree to this, I’ve been working from home for a couple of years now and this is a great reminder for me. Thank you 😘
Very important information! If you’re both working from home – you will be more prone to arguments. Definitely think it’s good to set boundaries 🙂
Yes very true! It’s just so much easier to get on each other’s nerves.